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Once you have established your budget and your checklist,
it's time to make it real! If funds are in place, you can
probably make your dream come true with six months' lead
time, possibly less (and possibly more, depending on the
complexity of your affair). Below, tips for the planning. If
you are not your own wedding planner, may this advice
empower you to keep your wedding planner on track and
working in your best interests.
Envision
Meditate on the style and overall tone and energy you want
for your day. High formality? Offbeat elegance? Casual chic?
Play Dress-up!
As you envision your day, dream on your attire -- the
inspiration for so much else.
People It
If you are going to have a bridal party, give your hoped-for
attendants plenty of advance notice, laying out your
expectations of them, so that they will have ample time and
information to think it over before they commit. And don't
assume that just because you ask they will -- or should --
say yes.
Next, the guest list. How large a guest list are you
comfortable with? Two hundred? Fifty? Whatever your number,
list all the couples and then all the singles, adding "+1"
because no one wants to attend a wedding alone. (For
heaven's sake, if you really want your single friends to
come, allow them to bring a guest!) If you choose to include
children in your celebration, make special plans for them.
Have a separate child-friendly menu and special
entertainment, possibly in another room. Make it so that the
kids can be kids.
Location, Location, Location!
The Where often determines the When. The ballroom you have
in mind may be booked on your first-choice wedding date --
or perhaps it is available but the church you desire is not.
It's important to secure your location as soon as possible
to increase the likelihood of having your celebration on
your first- or second-choice day.
Yes, You Can but . . . May You?
Find out if any element of your wedding requires a permit.
And don't forget that marriage license! Most states no
longer require a blood test, and a license can usually be
obtained in one to three days. Keep in mind that some
marriage licenses will expire if not filed within thirty
days. So be sure to read all the fine print.
Book Your Vendors
Contract with all the individuals and establishments you
need to make everything on your checklist happen, from
caterer, florist, and DJ to photographer and make-up artist.
Do not dawdle. To secure top talent, you may need to book
the person six months or more in advance. Remember, never,
ever sacrifice quality for quantity. If necessary, scale
back the scope of your wedding to get the best professionals
your pocketbook will allow.
Organize It
Purchase a three-ring binder with indexable dividers, a pack
(or two) of three-hole paper, and a pack (or two) of sheet
protectors. Devote one section to each component of your
wedding, from "Bridal Attire," "Ceremony," "Reception," and
"Stationery" on and on to "Et Cetera, Et Cetera" and
"Budget."
Use the lined paper in each section to log all
communications, decisions, and transactions on items.
Use sheet protectors for the following:
* Clippings and photographs of elements you'd like
incorporated in your gown (the neckline of one couture gown;
the bell sleeves of another, for example), your wedding cake
, the reception space, and other aspects of the celebration.
* Correspondence, estimates, invoices, and other
vendor-related paperwork. Having a paper trail on everything
is a must!
Budget Check
Every time you make a decision, reconcile your budget.
Make That Call to Attend!
The standard mail date for invitations is at least six weeks
before the wedding. For save-the-date cards, at least six
months.
Make Your Gift Wish List
If you are comfortable having a gift registry, plan on
giving it a full day, as it is very time-consuming.
Fortunately, many retailers now offer scanners so you can
easily select items for your registry. However, you must
still comb each department to personally select your
preferences. Also, most retailers offer a limited online
registry. But please do not insert gift registry
instructions inside your wedding invitations. I believe that
your guests should still have the freedom to buy you
whatever they would like for your wedding. I always keep
wedding registry information on hand for my clients, and
most guests will call and ask. The only exception is when
you are asking guests not to bring a gift. And for heaven's
sake, don't even think about asking for monetary gifts . . .
poor taste!
Reprinted from Weddings Valentine Style: Rich Inspiration
for Every Woman's Dream Day by Diann Valentine with Tonya
Bolden. Copyright C 2006 Diann Valentine. Published by Atria
Books; February 2006;$39.95US/$54.95CAN; 074349747-3.
Author
Diann Valentine is the founder and creative force behind
D.R. Valentine & Associates, Inc., a full-service event
production and interior design firm based in Los Angeles. A
native of Oakland, California, she has a marketing degree
from California State University. Her company's website is
www.drvalentine.net.
Tonya Bolden, a magna cum laude graduate of Princeton
University with a master's degree from Columbia University,
has authored, coauthored, and edited more than twenty books.
For more about her work visit www.tonyabolden.com.
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